Review of SWANCON # 32 Science Fiction and Fantasy Convention April 2007

NOTE it's better if you read this on my MySpace site. Transferring the posting here has lost all the formatting and run a lot of sentences together. I've corrected *some* of these.Please Just goto "myspace.com/catherinejemma" instead

Here is my review of the recent annual "SwanCon" (now in it's 32nd year).Perth and WA state's annualScience Fiction and Fantasy convention. It is being sent to you because youare in my address-book (as a personal friend, or a SciFi related contact)and I thought you'd like to read about it. If you do not wish to recievethis, or other future email contacts, then simply email me back at thisaddress, and I will have you Deleted (from my address-book, that is).

Notethat I have explained certain aspects in some detail, this is for the benefit of non-Perth residents. This review is not intended to beexhaustive, but to give an overall impression of the event. It is notintended to be just a "name-dropping" exercise either, please don't feelsleighted if you're left out. I'll be naming the main guests and some ofthe panel presenters, but I don't want this to turn into just atelephonebook-like listing !

In the past, my reviews have been shorter than this and taken about 3 hours to type. This review has taken somewhat longer spread over several days.Hopefully it's several times better, not just longer ! I've tried to polish it a lot more. Note I have digressed into a spiel at times, egthings like US IP laws, but only where these directly impact upon SwanCons.I know it's long, but try to read through all of it as I think its worthy of proper consideration.

Note that I consent to this review being reproduced and re-published in anymedia that is not intended primarily for profit. Such might include clubnewsletters, fanzines, websites, weBlogs, or small print run books. It maybe edited provided that such editing is reasonable. (Miss Steaks that havebean deliberately maid, should bee left unkorrekted !)

SwanCon #32 "Inconceivable" 5th to 9th April 2007

On Thursday 5 April 2007, I loaded up my recently repaired Renault (good job Catherine !) and ventured forth from my outback abode. Arriving in Perth afew hours later, I left mycar parked at a friend's place at the extreme edge of the Perth greatermetro area,and took the hour long express-bus journey into the city. Just a shortdistance out fromPerth's central city area, I happened to glance out the bus' window as theFreeway passes along close to the river's edge and noticed a flock of Swansfrollicking freelyalong the riverbank. These were of course the native "Black Swan" whichbeing, pretty much unique in the world, has become a symbol of Perth and thestate of WA. (Indeed before it was named "Perth", the area was actuallycalled "The Swan River Colony" by early European settlers (the river itselfalso being named after the Swans).

After the Freeway, the bus concludes it's journey at Perth's near new,multimillion dollar "Bus-Port". This is a disgraceful sack of rubbish,poorly designed and administered. For example there is absolutely NO groundlevel exit available to the adjacent streets. An elevated semi-enclosedwalkway leads off, with exit available one entire city block away (althougheven then the bastards sometimes conspire to defeat you, by locking the gateat the farend, which you can't see until you get all the way there). So if you'redisabled and cannot manage a flight of stairs, (or perhaps dragging aluggagetrolley loaded up with cardboard cartons and the like), the only option istoexit through the buses own entry and exit roadway ("No Pedestrians Allowed"etc),braving the abuse of bus-drivers, as they narrowly avoid running you over.

Compared to the Lichfield Street busstation and lounge area ("City Exchange"), in the much smaller city ofChristchurch, NewZealand, which has disabled (and people with trolleys etc) access at all ofit's entry and exit points.......Perth's much touted "Bus-Port" is rubbish.It's disgusting to think how much the civil servants who signed offapprovals on this monstrositygot paid, and the esteemed architects who got paid squillions designing it,deserve to have the goolies cut-off.Fortunately on this occasion, I didn't need to exit at street level (TheEmerald Hotel, where previous SwanCon and mini-conventions have been held,is just a short walk from The BusPort....*if* you can get out of thewretched placethat is).

SwanCon this year was held at the "All Seasons" hotel,the same venue as last year's SwanCon, (although last year it was called"The Acacia"..... a much nicer, more "Australian" name if you ask me). Thisis in the area just north of the Perth city centre known as "Northbridge".Fortunately for weary travellers, trapped at the BusPort by it's poordesign, another means of escape does exist, hop onto another bus tosomewhere else! The "CAT" service is free and does a circuitous routearound the Perthinner-city area, including the southern part of Northbridge. Mmm, more pooradministration, these CAT buses burn fossil fuels whereas Christchurch'sequivalent service (the "shuttle") uses fully electric buses recharged byrenewable power.

I used one of the un-used wheelchair pozzies on the CAT bus to stow mytrolley, heavily laden with cartons and dufflebags of, well, stuff, y'know,all the junk one takes to conventions. As the bus wound it's way from theBusPort, through the Perth inner city area, more and more passengers keptgetting on, at every stop (bastards ! sic). By the time it got to where *I*had to disembark, it was packed to standing room only from front to back. Ihad to fight my way through the crowd, as politely as I could, to extractmyself, my trolley load of stuff, and my backpack.

I then had a fair old walk upto the hotel which was a couple of blocksfurthernorth than the CAT busroute went, and the ground is slightly uphill. You'dbarely notice it if you's just walkin', but if you're dragging a heavilyladen trolley along behind you as well.........(every year I say I won'ttake as much stuff to Swancon next time, then every year I do)I missed Swancon in 2006 as I was in NZ, but I had visited the hotel once in2005 when I booked the room that I would have used. This year the room hadalready been booked and paid for by Wendy, someone I've shared a room withat the last 7 or so Swancons.

I went upto hotel reception and asked for myown key. Fortunately Wendy had had my name attached to the room booking.Unfortunately the Acacia hotel, at some previous date, had decided it was agood idea to buy a unique type of electronic doorlock, for which extrareplacement keycards would not be available. However since last year'sSwancon (with a high percentage of people sharing rooms requesting 2 keysper room)they had obtained another product which could be programmed to operate thedoorlock, so I wasgiven what looked like a piece off a broken pencil. (But even of these,they had only a limited supply.) I'm not good with the puppy-dog pleadingeyes, but I think I looked pretty frazzled after having hauled thattrolley-load of stuff up from the bus stop, so they took pity on me and gavemeone of the very few spare, reprogrammable keys.I went upto the room and let myself in, Wendy was already there, as well asanother who was to share the room with us.

Michael wasn't known to me(although I'd seen him around at GenghisCon a few months back). Wendy hadpreviously shared a room with Michael at last year's "Wai-Con" a JapaneseAnime' convention.Wendy and Michael had brought as least as much stuff to the convention as Ihad, perhaps more. As well as various costume outfits for them both, ourroom alsosported a full size replica of DR WHO's *K-9* (robotic dog).Disappointingly there was *no* microwave oven, so I had to survive withoutbeing able to cook the potatoes I'd brought along, (anyone that knows me,knows that I only feel like I've really been fed, if a meal includespotatoes ! ) but the ensuite bathroomwas nice and had a full bathtub as well as a shower-above. The shower rosewas on a long flexible tube, and this would've been very useful if we'dneeded to wash a dog in the bathtub (K-9 was clean already, plus he's partlycardboard, so we didn't try washing him)

So yeah, with all our stuff in it, the room was a bit "squeezy" but atSwancons you really only need the room to sleep in, and use the facilities.The kettle worked well and there was plen'y of teabags anyway. Michael hadthe single bed, and Wendy and I shared the huge bed, I guess it was Queensize. Sometimes Swanconners smuggle an extra friend into their rooms,without telling the hotel, especially with the double-plus-single bedlayoutsthat many hotels have nowadays, but we'd been honest and specified a3-occupancy room (partly because we wanted to make sure we all 3 of us gotthe included buffet breakfasts ! ) We were charged a slightly higher rate,although it still worked out cheaper for all of us, than if just Wendy and Ihad shared the room at the standard twin room occupancy rate.

Now anyone that knows me, knows that I've been "a survivalist" since mysecond reading of John Wyndham's "The Day Of The Triffids" when I's 14 yearsold. Now I must explain that the definition of "Survivalist" changes fromcountry to country. In the USA "a Survivalist" is often somewhat of agun-toting fanatic, who'll likely own over 100 high powered firearms andenough ammunition to supply a war-torn African country. InBritain, where private gun ownership is virtually outlawed (so it's only theoutlaws that have guns.....sorry stealing a quote from the NRA) "ASurvivalist" is someone with awardrobe full of wet weather and cold climate clothing and waterproof hikingboots.

InAustralia and New Zealand, it's likely to be somewhat of a compromisebetween these 2 extremes, although in Australia especially, drinking waterstorage is likely a major factor. Really though, in the Western World, themost likely threats to one's survival are most likely to be somewhatmundane, Fire, car crash while driving as-drunk-as-a-skunk, driving at over160 kmh on a wet road while texting on your mobile etc.

(Y'know, I did a back-of-the-envelope calculation awhile back, and, y'know,even counting the terrible tragedies of the past few years, Sept 11 andthe London and Bali bombings etc, it still seems to me that over an averageof say the last 100 years, even just in the Western World, a person ismore likely to die by being shot in the head by the police, or killed byother deliberate acts of the legitimate democratic government, than they areto die by an act of terrorist attack.

The USA government, revels in the joyof killing as many of it's citizens as it can, their total of executionsbeing beaten only by communist China's puppet court system, and recentlyEngland's police have taken over from America's, in their "shoot first, askquestions later" policy. I am still appalled by that case exactly a yearago of theBrazilian born electrician who while already being restrained by one policeofficer, was shot in the head 7 times by another, using his high poweredsemi-automatic pistol. Not surprisingly the poor bloke died. Hisoffence.....jumping on board an "Underground" (subway) train without havinga valid ticket. At first the official Govt line was "we thought he was asuicide bomber" but when information and photos were leaked to thenews-media, which proved beyond any doubt, that there was NEVER a good faithbelief that he was, the police internal investigation then centred on howthose photos were released (I'd be more interested to know, why the UK Govtare shooting un-armed civilians in the head !) . Needless to say thecoppers that killed the bloke, got away scot free, without even gettingdemoted or anything. Sorry this turned into a bit of a rant, but this casestill really haunts me)

Anyway, as a Survivalist, and as I hadn't stayed at that hotel beforemyself, I took a moment to read theFire and Emergency notice which is fixed to every Western Australianhotelroom door. I noticedit had a 2 stage fire-alarm. The first bell's meaning was "Be Alert, butnot Alarmed"and the second stage siren meaning "Evacuate NOW !" I opened the door andglanceddown the corridor, to see exactly where the nearest Fire Exits stairs were.Beingsilly you think ? This actually turned out to be quite a sensible idea

!After I got my stuff sorted I had a quick shower then went downstairs. It'sworth noting that the hotel has just under 100 accomodation rooms andSwancon attendees had booked all of them (some Perth people just come duringthe daytime or for just certain days, and therefore don't stay overnight).The hotel's convention function rooms are split between the ground floor(also with hotel reception and the bar-restaurant-dining area) and with somefunction rooms also on the first and second accomodation floors above (thehotel is only 3 stories high.

Downstairs had the main big room which was used for the guest-of-honourspeeches, the opening and closing ceremonies, specific main events and theMasquerade-Costumefunction. However apart from those times it was split with a folding wallgiving a two-thirds to one third split (being one large room, and one, evenlarger room).Another downstairs area was set aside for merchants. Now this was a muchsmaller affair than you'd get with a major American 'Con or a WorldConobviously.One day was nominated as a marketday and there were about 8 sellers thatday, but three stayed open throughout the entire convention. So thanks toNext Generation Toys, DVDs + Memorabilia, Fantastic Planet Bookshop andWhite Dwarf Books, as their table-fees go towards SwanCon, so I sure hopethey got enough sales to make their presence worthwhile.

On the marketdaywas also a table from ASIM (Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine) and thatlady who's name I don't know but she does the custom made Corsets andspecialised costume clothing pieces. (plus some others, sorry I cannotrecall the details and didn't make written notes on this aspect)Even one of the guests of honour, David Gerrold, was often to be seensitting at a table typing away on his laptop. I worry the poor fellamust've come to Australia with hardly any clothes as his suitcase was packedwith books and reprints of tv show scripts.....more on this later.Oh, I nearly forgot the important part, on a table in the corner of themarket room, was set up a free tea-coffee-Milo help yourself servery. Thiswas available throughout the entire convention, for "almost" 24 hours a day.Turns out I didn't use the kettle in our room much after all, I'd just keeprefilling my thermal mug from downstairs.

On the floor above, which could be reached by a convenient staircase oreither of the 2 lifts, was a room set aside for Gaming, available 24 hours aday, and another room for panel presentation segments, plus another area ofcomfy chairs (plus approx 50 of the accomodation rooms) Several times Inoticed the Gaming room full nearly to capacity with something close to 50people present around the 6 large tables.

On the floor above that, which could ONLY be accessed via the lifts, was aroom the hotel called the "Cocktail Lounge" and the other 50 or soaccomodation rooms. (Our room was up there)No Cocktails were to be had, but for the first third or so of theconvention, this room was set aside for the ART SHOW.

Some items weredisplay only while others were later put up for sale by auction. I regretI never got to see this display, but previous SwanCon Art entries haveincluded fabric Quilts and huge life size Monsters as well as the more to beexpected, paintings, drawings, small models and jewellery creations.

After the Art Show had concluded, the Cocktail Lounge was re-configured andbecame the VIDEO-ROOM for the remaining 2/3 of the Convention (more on thislater) and for a short while, the videos took an intermission as theroom was also used for the annual WASFF Inc AGM business meeting (more onthis later too).

I did a couple of head-counts during that first evening (Thursday) and therewas well over 100 people present already, throughout the panel and gamingrooms, not counting many more milling around socialising in the various"comfy-chair" areas.With 3 panel streams running concurrently there was plenty of choice. Istuck my head inside the door of "Investigating The Ring" thinking it wassomething about "The Lord Of The Rings" book and film trilogy, but stayedengrossed for the whole presentation. Fronted by Swancon regulars GrantWatson, assisted by Damien Magee and Martin Livings this chronicled theevolution over time of what started out as a Japanese Manga comic. Laterfilmadaptations, English adaptations, prequels, sequels etc. The whiteboardcould barely cope ! A fascinating insight into how one story in one mediumcan mutate and evolve.

I got a fairly early night, and awoke early the next morning. Well the freebuffet breakfast as included in our room-rate was excellent. Available from7 am thru to 11 am. Folks who know me, yeah, I's there shortly after 7.Unlike some greedy folks who pile their plates high, I only take a small"polite"serving (although I admit, I then return to the servery area, and get asecond, and sometimes third, course.......well I wanted t' get my money'sworth !) I don't usually eat any meat at all, or even a large breakfast,but they had bacon. Ooh I do so lo-ove bacon. I know it's not exactlykosher, but then I'm not exactly Jewish, and it is only a couple of times ayear......

After filling up on enough vit'ls to keep me goin' for most of the day, itwas time for attending some of the panels.One I attended was "Feminist Military SF" and this was fronted by ELIZABETHMOON one of the 2 international guests of honour, ably assisted by HeatherMagee and Stephanie Bateman-Graham.Now I must admit I'd never heard of Elizabeth Moon before this convention(but then I don't read much SF/F as books anymore, mostly into TV and DVDs).But I tell you what, she's not to be messed with ! Mother of an autisticchild, and author of many books, she's also an officer in the US MARINES(now retired). It's worth noting that she DOES NOT support the current USGovernment's policy in Iraq. Oh, and she seems to be a lovely person too !

After this panel, I started feeling a bit off. I'm susceptible to episodesof Migraine headache which include stomach upsets (NO it was not, just toomuch breakfast ! ) Rooms which are too brightly lit with artificial lightcan be one cause. (my one complaint with The Emerald Hotel, is that theirfunction rooms are FIERCLY brightly lit, and only sometimes do panelpresenters turn the lighting down).I went upstairs to my room to have an aspirin and a nap during thedesignated "lunch" hour break in panel programming. However I got worserather than better and missed all that afternoon's panels.

I's lying on the bed half-asleep when I heard the sound of a bell ringingsoftly in the distance. Now at this time Michael and Wendy were both alsoin the room. Wendy had her Playstation 2 rigged upto the hotel's telly, andMichael had his computer set-up. Although they were both furiously battlingarmies of aliens or zombies or something, in consideration of my malaise,they had their sound volumes turned down low. The quiet bell continued,apparently NOT part of the computer-games. I roused from the bed just asWendy went and opened the door. The bell was much louder then. A fewmoments later it changed to the "Evacuate NOW" siren so we did. See, it wasworth checking out where the fire exit stairs were !

You might sometimes notice a sign by the lift advising NOT to use the liftin case of fire. Actually this sign is there mostly so people don't standaround waiting for a lift that'll never come, you *can't* use the lift incase of fire. Did you know it's a standard of lift design to have an"interlock" between the lift machinery and the fire alarm ? Once the firealarm is triggered the lift follows a preset procedure. As soon as thedoors next close (or immediately if they are closed already) the lift runs"express" to the default evacuation level (usually the ground floor) wherethe doors open and remain open, and further use of the lift is locked out.Firemen have a special key that allows them to use the lift, if they feel itis safe.

Well The All Seasons hotel is only 3 stories total. Wendy, Michael and I,took just moments to exit via the fire stairs, and joined the rest of thecrowd outside the front of the hotel (oh dear, bright sun, migraine...).The last few stragglerswere just evacuating when hotel staff came out and gave us the all clear toreturn inside.

I went and collapsed back on the bed. I was still in a badway and spent all of the rest of that day and evening in bed, with theexception of Elizabeth Moon's guest of honour speech. I'm glad I's able torouse myself for this, as she's a most entertaining speaker, and includedtelling us of her life (she lives in Texas, on a country property withhorses) and has previously spent time in England as a guest rider on afox-hunt, and in Ireland living with the famous author Anne McCaffrey wherethey co-authored some books in collaboration. Two hours had been allocatedfor her speech, in the main downstairs area, and even with the partitionwall opened, the room was almost full up. There was time for somequestions from the audience toward the end, but I was still quite unwell andleft atthat point.

I had a difficult night, but awoke the Saturday morning 90 % recovered. Iwas well enough to have a small serve of breakfast at least (oh yummy, morebacon ! )Now I must mention one special event that occured that Saturday morning.Called "Blade attraction zero - back to basics" golly not much of a cluethere as to what the segment's about.It was fronted by "KANEDA", who is a regular at SwanCon, GenghisCon etc. Ithink that Kaneda is from Japanese heritage but he speaks perfect AustralianEnglish. As well as being a skilled barista (professional coffee maker)he's very involved in the Martial Arts.For this segment the folding wall was opened again to make the one hugeroom.Padded Judo mats were laid out filling one corner of the room. Kaneda thengave adisplay of some real and fake martial arts weapons. Some comic-bookdepictions of weapons might look pretty cool, but in reality they'd betotally unfeasable. He had had constructed several such weapons, asdepicted in a famous Manga (comic). One was a Samurai type sword of largerdimensions. You might think that adding another foot or two to the lengthof a standard Samurai sword would give you an advantage. Far from it, itwas demonstrated how this puts you at very much of a DIS-advantage. I guesswith the benefit of many hundreds of years trials, those Japanese Samuraiwarriors had a design for sword length that was spot-on.

Thanks also go to Kaneda's team of assistants. This totalled close to 15persons altogether. This segment included a demonstration of theBrazilio-African Capoeira dance-martial art, as well as several comicalsegments with Ninja suited adverseries. Some stage furniture constructed ofstyrofoam and cardboard bore the brunt of these antics.

There was also one demonstration segment involving real, sharp, knives.Prior to this segment they requested that cameras have their flashes turnedoff, and small children be restrained well back from the Judo-mat area (yesthere were some small children and suckling babes at SwanCon....the nextgeneration of Science Fiction fans hopefully). SwanCon does have liabilityinsurance coverage, and it's good to see that even in these everincreasingly litigious times, presentations using sharp knives and realswords can still be held.

Thanks to all who took part in that segment.

I guess it was around about this time that first one lift, then the other aswell, broke down. Apparently the electric motors overheated because theywere running almost constantly. The hotel staff locked off use of the liftsto allow them to cool off, and put up signs asking people to use the firestairs instead. These usually have one-way door handles, but they wedgedopen the doors. This system worked well actually (I don't think that thedoors were mandated as must-stay-closed smoke-stop doors, as those werelocated elsewhere). Actually I made a sorta boo-boo myself. I thought Icould use EITHER of the 2 fire-escape stairs, and on one occasion used theother stairway. Well as the one-way door closed behind me I found myselfunable to exit THAT stairway, except at the ground floor fireexit......which opened out BEHIND the hotel on the far side of theblock......ggrr, there were a few naughty words emitting from my mouth as Iwalked around 3 sides of that city block to get back in the hotel's mainentrance !

After the lifts had cooled off, they were available for use again, but aprinted sign asked people not to use them un-necessarily. I only noticedone person in a wheelchair who would have HAD to use a lift. Karen Babcock(?), a published author of some renown, who's been to SwanCons before, ridesaround in a special electric powered wheelchair.Oh well at this 'con I guess I burnt off the extra calories of the bigbreakfasts I had, by using the stairs about a hundred times a day.

That day also had the panel segments "A Guide To Preparing And PresentingManuscripts" fronted by Elizabeth again, aided by the Eastern StatesAustralian Guest of Honour MATTHEW REILLY, along with the afore mentionedKaren and WA's own Russell B Farr.Matthew Reilly you might recall was the teenage boy who a few years agoself-published his first book through one of those "vanity" publishinghouses, while living at home with his mum and dad.

Vanity Publishing isalmost always a bad idea, as the company doesn't give two hoots whether yourbook sells or not, hell they don't even care if it's unfit for publishing,because they get you to meet 100% of the costs up front...they ALWAYS end uplaughing all the way to the bank, and the aspiring author OFTEN goes broke.Matthew's is one of the rare success stories though, and it gave him aspringboard from which he launched his, now full time professional, writingcareer. I regret I missed his National Guest of Honour speech, but I didattend several of the panels on which he was a member and later caught upwith him for a casual chat. He seems to be a great character, plus hedrives a DeLorean ! (that's the Gull-wing-door car like from theBack-to-the-Future films)

Just after lunch was The Writer's Workshop segment apparently also. Dunno,I'm not a writer and don't claim to be, so wasn't there. However aspiringnew authors could certainly gain many valuable insights attending atSwanCons.Later that afternoon was the other International Guest of Honour speech, byDAVID GERROLD.Now before this SwanCon I'd never heard of the bloke, but he has beenwriting tv scripts and books for many years now, decades in fact.

He started in the late 1960's as a fan sending in a script for the originalSTAR TREK. (Yes, in those days, they really did solicit scripts from thepublic). His first script was rejected but later he wrote the script for"The Trouble With Tribbles" one of the most memorable Star Trek classicepisodes. In the early 1970's he then went onto do a Tribbles story scriptfor the single season run of the animated Star Trek. He was also involvedin the very beginning with Star Trek, The Next Generation, but left due to"creative differences" as they'd say.

David explained to us in quite somedetail how Gene Roddenberry's original vision, was being strangled by onepower-crazed lawyer, who was personally modifying scripts, even againstCalifornia studio law.After leaving Next Gen, David raised many tens of thousands of dollars forLos Angeles AIDS charities, selling copies of a rejected Next Gen episodescript and has had a very successful career with writing many books and afair bit of work on tv and film scripts. He also has an adopted son (whomight or might-not, be a Martian ! ok, bit of an inside joke there.)

Ohsomething I did buy at the'con, was a script from David. On one of the several times he was sittingquietly at a table, typing on his laptop, and with his suitcase full ofbooks for sale around him. He'd also worked on the short lived tv seriesspin-off to the LOGAN'S RUN film. So I have a copy of his script from that.

Well I thought Elizabeth's GOH speech was about the most entertaining eventso far, but David's GOH speech surpassed even that height.After that item finished I had a short time to refill my thermal mug withtea, grab some vit'ls from m' room and went to the VIDEO-ROOM which was setup in the so-called "Cocktail Lounge" a none-to-big room up on the topfloor......ie just a few metres walk down the corridor from my hotel-room.Now I must explain the set-up. The room had about 40 chairs set out (and afew more folks could have squeezed in if necessary by sitting on the floorup the front) Note that a projectionist or AV operator was *NEVER* to beseen. As a sign on the entrance door said "DON'T TOUCH THE EQUIPMENT,EVERYTHING IS AUTOMATIC"Everything was automatic too, and it all worked without fault. Some kind ofcomputer memory system had been pre-loaded with all the items to bescreened, and this was sent to the table-top projection system and soundsystem.Fortunately we're an honest bunch at SwanCons and nobody stole the projectoror computer from where it sat on a central table. There would have beenoccasions when the room was empty I guess, although I attended quite a fewscreenings and sometimes the numbers in that room got upto about 20 people.Not a huge audience I grant, but still worthwhile, and I'd recommend allSwanCons and mini-cons have at least a part-time VideoRoom, it would be agreat loss to attend a convention without one.

The projector system, well I'm not sure what it was, except to say it wasEXCELLENT. Whether during the day, when some stray sunlight leaked in pastthe window-blinds, or at night, with some light from the corridor, thepicture on-screen was fantastic. Other projection systems I've experienced,even in a totally darkened room, I have trouble getting a clear view of thescreen.The sound level was set moderately, and it's true that on some certain itemsthe volume was just a tad lower than it might've been.I cannot commend highly enough those that put together this years videostream, including the setting up of the room and the AV gear. Oftentimes itcan be a somewhat onerous task, scheduling to have someone on duty therecontinuously to change videotapes and dvds at intervals throughout the dayand night, but this fullyautomatic system with such high quality picture clarity, deservessubstantial praise.

Shortly after David's GOH speech finished, I's in the VideoRoom with a smallreserveof foodstuffs to keep me nourished as I watched the classic STAR TREKepisode "The Trouble With Tribbles" yeah it's been awhile since I last sawit. I also got to see the new DR WHO episode 3;01 where we get to meet hisnew companion for the first time. Later I saw "The Eleventh Hour" a Britishmystical horror thriller sorta thing. Later throughout the 'con I returnedto the videoroom to see assorted items including ep 3;02 of the new Dr Who,the pilot ep for the DRESDEN FILES tv series let's see, that was about a guyin an occult shop who can communicate with ghosts, PRIMEVIL about a weakpoint in the spacetime continuum which can link prehistoric times to modernday Britain, and also the pilot eps for DEXTER and RAINES. Now I might haveremembered these the wrong way around but iirc Dexter was about a guy whoworks for the police, in the forensic labs division, he's a blood specialistfor murder enquires.....oh yes, and during his time off, he's also a serialkiller, and he *doesn't* leave forensic evidence behind to incriminatehimself.And Raines, iirc, is a police detective who barely survived a shootout andhas just returned to duty. Helping him to solve the crimes is that he canspeak to the ghosts of murder victims......or is this as it seems ? Maybeit's nothing more than his over-active imagination, it's upto you to decide.I wholeheartedly recommend all of these series to folks. I hope they getpicked up by Australian stations and broadcast here, or for those with highspeed broadband internet connections, there's always "Channel BT"(BitTorrent).

In my area WIN has recently been advertising Primevil as"coming soon" (which could mean bloomin' Christmas ! ), so I'm guess that inAust capital cities it'll be coming soon to channel 9 or 10 network.

Saturday evening that folding wall got folded away again, as the downstairsroom area was setup for the Masquerade Ball and Costume show event. I saw afew costumes around the place but didn't attend, however there were plentyof folks around with digital cameras, so google around a bit and you mightbe lucky to find a website with some photos posted there.

I attended briefly at the session "Change and Decay, the 18th season of DrWho". The room was fairly brightly lit (nowhere near as bad as the functionrooms at The Emerald though) and I was just a touch headache-y. Fronted bymany of SwanCon's well known Dr Who fans, Simon Oxwell, Damian Magee, GrantWatson, Danny Oz and Colin Sharpe, this was a discussion of classic Dr Whopeppered with short film clips of that season, played on an AV system at thefront of the room. Mention was made "shall we dim the lights?" to whichsome wally called back "No, it'll be alright". Mmm, and with the lightswitches so conveniently located at the end of the room too, oh well. Ididn't need to add any to my suntan, and the ceiling lamps were just a bittoo bright for me that evening, so I left.

Put this in your memory bank, all ye who run items with an AV component,whether your display is a tv screen, or projector, "powerpoint" oroverhead-projector *PLEASE* dim the ceiling lights !

Sunday morning I's up at 7 am again, and consumed my fair share of Bacon andother products from the hotel's restaurant-dining area. Y'know I onlythought about it later, but during the whole SwanCon, I never had a reallunch or a real dinner......it was those big breakfasts that kept me going(plus I had a supply of my own hardboiled organic eggs I'd brought from hometo snack on).Looking now back over the Sunday morning timetable, I see several panelitems that sound really interesting and wonder how I could've missed them.Oh, that's how, I's at the WASFF AGM.

WASFF is a not-for-profit incorporation duly registered under state law. Itis the sorta "umbrella" under which the SwanCons (and some of the minicons)operate. Each annual SwanCon is a separate entity, WASFF provides them withsome "seed" funding and general oversight , but otherwise they haveautomony.The AGM is where we elect the people who'll represent WASFF for the nextyear, plus other items of "housekeeping" such as vote on changes that mightbe necessary to the constitution and other business matters. Also it'swhere we vote on which bid to accept to organise the next Swancon ("next"meaning in 2 years), or if only one bid is presented, we get to decidewhether to endorse that bid or not. Often there are 2 or 3 bids andsometimes even 4, but often also there is just one bid presented.

I ALWAYSattend the AGM, and I'm not afraid to voice my opinion or ask relaventquestions. (Obviously I missed last years AGM because I missed thatSwanCon).Now I have heard that the "bid" process for some American conventions canget quite bitter. SwanCon bids may sometimes be somewhat competitive, butgenerally the attitude is one of good natured co-operation.We had 2 bids presented this time. About 35 people were present for themeeting (yes this is, just a small percentage of those attending at SwanConwho are entitled to attend, and vote).

The first to speak was "PRK" (sorry I dunno his name, Paul something maybe ?just around fandom he's known as PRK). He represented a younger crowd ofmore like thirties-es, year-olds, including Elaine K, Ju, Jess and Maya.PRKspoke well and they had a clear plan already. They had already had had someflyers posted around downstairs earlier for their "bid-party" the nightbefore. The idea of a "bid party" is you throw your hotel-room open to allandsundry, plying them with cheap drink, while talking up the merits of YOUR'con bid. However you have to be careful not to get folks TOO drunk orthey'll still be in bed the next morning sleeping it off, when you want toensure as many as possible arrive at the AGM in time to vote for your bid.Their idea was for the convention to be subtitled "Contact" and with thetheme as in, "first contact" with alien species. He also indicated thatthey WOULD NOT be seeking to be the designated NatCon (ie Australia'sofficial National SciFi Convention). They would use the Easter very longweekend,if the designated Natcon didn't want it. Otherwise they would hold theconvention on a shorter, 3 day, WA state holiday, long weekend, in March orJune.

I'll just explain here that by gentleman's agreement of many years standing,Conventions choosedifferent weekends, and Easter is offerred first to the designated NatCon.Keep in mind Australia is a huge continent sized country with just 20million population and just 5 major capital cities with enough populationbase to hold a substantial convention.Swancon is probably the designated Natcon about 1 year in three, andsometimes the Eastern states conventions don't want to use Easter, even ifthey're the Natcon.Oh well, I prefer Easter Swancons because they're a whole extra day andnight longer !

The second bid presentation was from "Jay" representing a somewhat oldergroup of fans. He also said that Easter was preferred and that they WOULDbebidding for their SwanCon to be that year's NatCon.

I must say that PRK gave the better bid speech, however both partiesincluded many well experienced convention organisers from past Swancons, andI'm sure either group could have organised a successful Swancon. Note: I hadnot attended PRK's bid party, and AFAIK, the Jay group, did not have a bidparty at all.

A secret ballot was held and the winning bid was from the group led by PRK.Congratulations to them. Remember this bid is for the 2009 Swancon. The bidfor the 2008 'con was determined at last year's AGM. This gives Swanconorganising committees 2 full years to organise a convention.

The WASFF committee chairing the meeting asked for a representative of thecurrentconvention committee to give a brief interim report. Approx 200full-weekend memberships had been sold in advance, plus another 50 fullmemberships had been sold at-the-door. Another 35 or so one-day membershipshad been purchased at-the-door on either the Friday or the Saturday morning(remember the AGM was being held on Sunday morning). The committee expectedto return to the WASFF Inc the original "seed" money they'd been advanced,plus something close to $7,000. A fantastic result and financially thebest outcome I can recall. Usually Swancons cover costs and return a fewhundred extra to WASFF, sometimes 1 or 2 thousand.

Keep in mind that otherfundraising happens all throughout the year for the convention, sales ofchocolate and wine, movie screenings and quiz-night fundraisers.If one allows for a few more day memberships to be sold throughout thatSunday and the Monday, I think it's fair to say that this year we would havecracked the 300 mark.

The WASFF committee then asked for a progress report from a representativeof next year's Swancon organising committee. Remember this 'con bid wasgiven the go ahead at last year's Swancon, in March 2006Anna Hepworth spoke for them. Folks may recall she's the barefoot contessawho's sometimes had altercations with hotel staff, regarding her lack offootwear.

Again some measure of "cultural translation" may be useful fortheAmericans and English who read this. Throughout Australia it is far moreculturallyacceptable to be barefoot in public than in some other countries, or to wearjust thongs (aka flipflops aka jandals).

Some hotels quote "healthregulations" as requiring convention attendees to wear, thongs/jandals atleast,while in the function rooms or diningroom areas. Other hotels are a bitmore laissez-faire on the matter.

Personally I wear jandals or simple sandals 98% of the time. Amongst mytrolley load of junk, I did actually bring with me to Swancon a nice pair of 'heels and a matching (US=) "purse" and a nice dress, in case I got invited out anywhere one evening with anybody... never happened anyway. (The"Northbridge" area where thehotel is located is Perth's main cafe/restaurant/nightclub area.... not thatI'm a nightclubby type o' person). So maybe I wear "nice" shoes about 1% of the time, and about 1% of the time I'd wear workboots, but only really if I'm using a chainsaw or welding say. (mmm, not much of that at Swancons though)

Anyway Anna is one of those university types, with more degrees than mostthermometers (how she's found the time to breed up 3 new future sciencefiction fans, I dunno).Anna reported a number of issues. One thing is that they *still* DO NOThave a venue booked for next year's Swancon.

This is unheard of, this latein the proceedings ! The international Guests of Honour are booked andconfirmed, flying in from England and America in time for next Easter longweekend (it falls in March of 2008)So *NO* hotel convention space booked and obviously, subsequently, fanscan't start reserving accomodation rooms, as we don't know what hotelthey'll be using !

This is of very great concern to me. Sounds like a right bloody cock-up ify'ask me.

However I'm not tooooooo concerned, because.........Anna has previously beeninvolved as one of the "gang-of-three" (including Grant Watson and SimonOxwell)organising 2 previous Swancons and 3 previous mini-cons. She's highlyintelligent and resourceful, and she knows her shit inside out and upsidedown.

Well why don't they just book the Acacia/All Seasons hotel ? ( I can hearyou saying that from here ) Last year's, and this year's Swancon haveproved it to be a very suitable venue, aside from minor annoyance issues,like lack of extra room key-cards, and the lifts overheating.....Well this year with some 300 attending and something over 200 stayingovernights, this reasonably priced hotel is bursting at the seams.

Next year, 2008, the Swancon *IS* the Nationally designated NatCon, and assuch, a total attendance of some 350 to 400 people could be expected, withmany more blow ins (well fly-ins) from Australia's eastern states.It's true that some fans could simply book accomodation rooms at otherlocations nearby (I understand that this is common practice in the USA,where only a limited number of attendees can be accomodated at theconvention site itself, the rest stay over at nearby designated "overflow"hotels)

However doing this would severely impact Swancon's 24 hour nature....well okso that's mostly a few hardline gamers and late night video-room-goers.But the problem is ALSO that the function-room space available at theAcacia/All Seasons, simply couldn't cope with another 50 or 100 people.Some of the hotelrooms could be stripped of furniture and have chairsinstalled to make them suitable for the smaller panel segments (this wasdone previously, at the one Swancon some years back, which used the EmeraldHotel, where the attendance was pegged to a 250 person maximum) but this isan imperfect solution, partly because then even fewer fans can beaccomodated overnight on site.

The situation isn't all Anna, and the 2008 organising committee's fault.It's actually a situation that's been brewing for some years, and has beenraised often at previous WASFF AGMs.Perth has plenty of suitable venues for conventions of 200 people or less,and also for conventions of say 600 people or more. But it lacks suitablevenues in the middle of the range....right where Swancon is.

There's also the issue of the pricing of the function-room areas. There aremany 4 and 5 star hotels with plenty of accomodation rooms, but they want$45,000 to $100,000 for their function room space for the duration of aSwancon.I think part of the problem lies with those hotels "Wedding" mentality.Weddings maybe book function-room space for say 10 hours. 3 hours setup, 5hours dinner-and-dance, 2 hours clear-away.

Swancon wants function-roomspace from say (Easter) Thursday evening to Monday afternoon, so the hoteljust multiplies the hours at their normal wedding rental rate. Obviously atSwancons, (with the exception of some Gaming and Videoroom areas) thefunctionroom space is only utilised between about 9 am to 11 pm daily. Theluxury hotels still want to charge full hourly rates for those hours therooms sit empty and we're all sleeping.

Another issue is the accomodation-room pricing. (although this is only asecondary issue, for the organising committee). Although it's true thatPerth's SciFi fandom includes many highly paid folks, university academics,and computer technical geeks etc, many attendees are just strugglinguniversity students getting by on study allowances and part-time jobs, plusa cross section of the rest of society including those on low paying jobs.

Some years back Swancon was held at Perth's "RYDGES" hotel, a 4 and a halfstar establishment. Oh the 'con itself was fine, but I was disgusted by thehotel's treatment of us. The room rate was double what we'd been used to,yet we got nothing extra or better for it. (now, being careful how I wordthis, for all the lawyers out there) let me say that "I personally, wouldn'tstay in a RYDGES hotel, ever again, anywhere in the world, even if you paidme !"

I understand that in the past, Swancon committees have often had to pay,something in the region of $15,000 for the function room spaces. TheAcacia/All Seasons charges more like $5,000. This is one contributingreason why this year's "Con, has been able to bring about a larger thanusual surplus. Even though, The hotel still benefits by having 100%accomodation room occupancy, virtually guaranteed, plus extra sales at theirlicenced bar or restaurant.I spoke up, hey I'm never afraid to get my oar in, at these AGMs, and Iasked if Anna had considered "pencilling in" the A/AS hotel as a "fallbackposition" incase nothing else better was able to be found, as time ticks on.She indicated that her committee was in the process of doing just that.

Unfortunately in that area of northern Northbridge, I don't think there areany other hotels nearby. Certainly none within a"comfortable-at-11o'clock-at-night" walking distance. There's a lot ofbackpacker lodges in that area, but generally even the poorer Swanconattendees would find that type of share-accomodation unsuitable.

Another aspect of Anna's report was *troubling* to me. ("troubling" likebeing hit in the face with a sledgehammer is)Next year's Swancon there WILL NOT be any video-room AT ALL ! (althoughsome panels may have AV segments, as part of the presentation).

Looking back, 20 years ago and 10 years ago, and even to an extent 5 yearsago, one of the main reason fans went to SciFi conventions was to goto thevideoroom. The reason to goto the videoroom was to see episodes of tv showsand films well in advance of what was on local tv/cinema. Indeed many itemswould never end up being shown locally. Countries like Australia and NewZealand especially, are at the end of a very long "supply chain", and it'soften taken 2 to 3 years for programs to show up here......if we get them atall.

Now there has been a gradual shift happening, and that has accelerated inthe last 5 years. SciFi fans are disproportionately "techno-geeks" and withever increasing availablity of Broadband computer access, "channel BT" (thedownloading of tv and films via the Bit Torrent and other similar systems).Look I'm the world's biggest fan of videorooms at conventions and even Iadmit that attendance has been falling of. From my recollections of 10years ago, the Swancon videoroom would get like 60 folks or maybe more forsome feature items. Recently 30 attending would be considered a highfigure.

One point Anna mentioned, was the concern over copyright and intellectualproperty laws. Videorooms as found at most conventions might well beconsidered "illegal" depending on your interpretation of such laws.Now I'm sorry , but I must have a say here (and it will be a long 'say' asthis subject really gets-my-goat).

Firstly I am 100% in support of anauthor or inventor recieving fair payment for a work of their own originalcreation (whether it be a scifi story-book, a tv show or a new type ofcarburettor design that does200 miles per gallon). However I beleive that the pendulum has swung fartoo much that way lately, and the situation has been made even worse by some"crazy" decisions which have been handed down recently by the US courts.Other countries, eg Australia, still get affected by US court rulings.

OK, lets say for argument's sake that we just cancelled ALL copyright,patent and intellectual property laws. The standard catch-cry I hear,repeated over and over, is "oh then, nobody would bother funding any newresearch, inventions and innovations"Alright that's your *THEORY* we have no way of knowing whether or not it's avalid theory.

Certainly technological advances have happened throughout,what, some 5,000 years of human history, with one invention and developmentbuilding on what went before (better ploughs, programmable weaving-loomsand spinningwheels, improved archery bows thencrossbows etc). There was never any form of patent or copyright"protection" for almost all of those thousands of years. Only during thelast 200 or so years has such "intellectual property protection" beenavailable.

During the 1960's etc, the world was brought to the brink of World War 3, onthe basis of one man's "Domino theory". A totally untried, untested andunproven theory, originally espoused by just one man, then repeated over andover by others. It turned out to be utterly false, and the fall of Vietnamto the Communists DID NOT lead to a domino effect of Communist takeoverssweeping throughout SouthEast Asia. (and don't even get me started on themore recent Iraq "weapons-of-mass-destruction" theory, later proven to befalse, and indeed, likely a deliberate fabrication).

In the news we are hearing more and more lately how "IP" patent andcopyright laws are actually being used to STIFLE research and development,and academic debate.A few years ago, an American based company called OVONICS developed a newsuperior battery, suitable for fully electric cars (NOT "hybrids" these carsburn no petrol at all). The newly developed manufacturing technique forwhat is called "large format, nickel metal hydride" batteries solved severalproblems that had been holding back the success of electric cars until then.The new batteries have an expected lifespan of some 20 plus years (versusthe 3 to 5 year lifespan of existing batteries) plus the electric car couldgo twice as far in between recharges.

GM bought a controlling, 60% interestin the Ovonics technology batteries and used them for the last few models itreleased of its EV-1 car. Shortly afterwards GM recalled all the cars andsent them to the crusher and sold control of the battery technology to theTexaco-Chevron oil companies. Ever since then, they have been using US IPprotection laws to prevent this new type of battery being installed inelectric cars.

OK well how's about we goto court and get a just outcome that way ?Well a few years ago DEKA a US based company bought one of the many smallAustralian companies manufacturing "ugg" boots. They then claimed they hadexclusive use of the term "ugg" throughout the world. Some poor Aussiebattlers stood up to this and fought them in a US court. Even though theyproved that it was a word in common use and with decades of inclusions indictionaries as such, the judge of course, decided in the US company'sfavour

.mmm, I wonder if he was the same judge who presided on the following 2cases. One farmer in midwest America was accused of breaching a writtencontract he'd signed. His defence team came up with proof that he'd nevereven seen the contract papers or signed them. The judge DID NOT ALLOW thatto be told to the court. Not surpisingly, missing that vital piece ofevidence, the jury decided against him.

Then there was that bloke in California, arrested under Federal "drug"charges for growing Cannabis. The judge refused to allow the Jury to hear,that he was a duly certified state Ranger and had the necessary statelicence and was growing it under controlled conditions as part of a stategovernment program. (similar to how in Tasmania, opium poppies are grown tosupply morphine for medical use) The juryfound him guilty and the judge sentenced him to a long jail sentence (30 to99 years ?). When the jury exited the cloistered confines on that courtroomand realised what they'd done, many were physically sick.

Here's another example of a court decision gone wild. Remember a few yearsback when some woman bought coffee at a McDonald's drive-thru Then insteadof placing the hot beverage in the car's installed cup-holder (or some other*safe* place if the car was not so equipped), she placed the piping hotdrinkbetween her legs and drove off. Subsequently she drove over a bump andsuffered terrible scalding burns to a very sensitive part of her anatomy.Unfortunate, yes, but her own stupid fault for sure.

Enter one of thoseshister ambulance-chasing lawyers and a court case ensued. Now McDonald'sas we all know, is a major international corporation and can afford toemploy the best legal team money can buy, but that didn't stop some crazyjudge deciding McDonald's was "at fault" and now that woman'slaughing......all the way to the bank.

I'll stop my speil there, as you can see, I think that IP and copyright lawscan be taken too far (and that recent court decisions from the USespecially, have been making things even worse.As it is, many books already include on the copyright page "...no part maybe reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, byany means..."Well let me assure you, all it takes is one shister lawyer, and one crazyAmerican judge to decide that the human brain is "an information storage,retreival and transportation system" (which it clearly *IS*, albeit organicand imperfect) and then suddenly we'll find ourselves in a world where it'sactually illegal to read the books we've bought !

So "yes" I agree that, strictly speaking, under an interpretation of thecurrent laws, video-rooms at conventions *might* be breaking copyright laws.But I say that consider this, even just reading those books you've bought atthe local bookshop, or convention, *might* well be considered illegal too !Stupid you think ? McDonald's. Hot Coffee. Need I say more.Every now and then, some Hollywood types cry out stuff like "DVD piracy iscosting us 40 squillion dollars a year in lost sales". The simple fact isthat they have no firm idea, and the numbers they come up with, aren't even"an estimate" they're simply a wild guess. Perhaps they are accurate. Orperhaps they are so in-accurate that DVD-piracy is actually EARNING themimproved sales

.Consider an Aussie tourist who goes for a cheap Asian holiday, to Bali say.While there they might buy some of those "pirate" dvds for about $2 each.Lets say for argument sake the recent Superman movie filmed in Australia, afilm they would never have considered buying or even renting at the usualfull price. Later home in Australia they watch the movie and like it somuch they want to own a better quality copy of it, with all the extras andcommentaries included and without the intrusive sounds of an audiencein the background of the soundtrack. So they go down the road to theirlocal store and pay $39.95 full price for the double-disc collectors editionwith all the extras. In this, fictional, example I have given, "dvd piracy"far from costing Hollywood any money, has actually been a form of freeadvertising for them, at no cost to them, and they have garnered anothersale that they otherwise would never have got.

I feel it would be a great loss for a convention like Swancon to be entirelywithout a videoroom. It won't stop me from attending at Swancons, but Iwould be majorly disappointed. I realise that times are a-changing, andthat with less demand, perhaps only a part-time video-room is the way to go.Even for smaller conventions like GenghisCon and those held annually at TheEmerald Hotel (the next one "NightsEdge" is planned for 10 and 11 Nov 2007)I'd recommend that the organisers run a part-time video program at least.Swancon's have traditionally run a 24 hours video stream throughout theentire convention. This last 'con the video stream ran for only about 2/3of the time. But I cannot commend highly enough whoever organised this(sorry I have no idea of who it was). Running automatically with minimalsupervision it was not an onerous task for busy committee members. Theaudio and video quality of the material presented was almost alwaysexcellent, and there was an assortment of items, old and new, to suit mosttastes.I'd implore the organising committee of the 2008 SwanCon to reconsider theirdecision not to have any videoroom, and ask that they do operate a videoroomstream, for, at the very least one third of the convention run-time.

To those who say "well just download it yourself, and watch it on channelBT" I'd like to remind them that Broadband is only available in certainareas.

Hopefully Anna and her crew will soon have a suitable venue locked in, andsomewhere where the rooms are affordable for all of us to stay in. I'ddread another Swancon being held at a 4 to 5 star hotel, with room ratesdouble that of a 3 and a half star establishment, for basically, nodifference that I can see.The AGM finished up in just under 2 hours, almost a record. Often they'vedragged on for nearly 3 hours, and given that this time we needed to vote onsome constitutional changes also.... we got a lot covered in a reasonabletime I thought.

Next I went onto the AUCTION. Now sometimes I attend this but often I don't.But I remember a few years back I did get a good deal on some Babylon 5videotapes. Yeah someone had obviously upgraded to newer DVD sets and wasflogging off their old videotape sets of seasons one and two, plus therelated movies. They were offered as 3 separate lots. I won the first lot,then the second, and when the third lot was held up for show some callshad gone out from the audience to just hand them straight over to me. YeahI know that folks prefer dvds nowadays, hell even I do. But one fan owner,as new, videotapes can still be a good buy.

I'm not sure exactly on the payments system, whether it's commission only orwhat, but after the fan has been paid for, whatever it is, the remaininggoes to Swancon.Certain items are auctioned as fundraisers for special funds like NAFF andDUFF. These funds help a fan to attend a convention in another state orcountry. Some of those items did go for more than "their true worth" butthe fans realise that these are fundraising for the fan-funds.

Now the auction was held in the panel room upstairs ("Oshanesii" room). Ithad chairs set out offering seating for 50 people, and although some folkcame and went throughout that time, there was almost always another 10people standing at the rear of the room and another 10 people sitting inplaces on the floor.The auction was fronted by three characters who I'm afraid I cannot recalltheir names for sure, possible John Robertson, with Grant W and Simon O.Essential secretarial support was from some lass with a laptop, and therewere two "runners" (to transport goods, cash-payment, and the change,throughout the room). Despite the two "runners' there was not a Sandman tobe seen (and no Ankhs either).

Y'know this auction was the, third equal, most entertaining item I attendedall SwanCon long. Equalled only by Elizabeth and David's GOH speeches.John R's antics and banter had the audience laughing and with applause, andI think the odd tear in there too occasionally. With some items there wassome quite frenzied, competitive bidding. Other times there was co-operationbetween bidders (some lots offered were bunches of books where differentpeople wanted different books from the bunch).

On at least one occasion,several bidders joined together to purchase an item, only to give it away.This happened when Ruth and Rachel Turner (no relation, oh hang on yes theyare related, identical twins !) teamed up with Grant Watson to purchase anoriginal artwork from a famous Manga artist, and donated it to Ju Whitehead(Ju's been on several convention organising committees, a boundless bundleof energy !) Remember that Swancon, as well as the other smallerconventions, are all fan run, not-for-profit events, and the folks doing allthe organising are volunteers putting in their own time and effort. See Ju,the folks at Swancon really do love you !

(the co-auctioneers themselves were allowed to bid on items on their ownpersonal behalf, so long as they made that clear)

Yeah we're a great friendly bunch in WA fandom, well *mostly* that is.

I'd arrived just before the auction started and got a seat. But after beingthere about 2 hours I's gettin' to need to go. Y'know. To the "little NewZealander's room" so to speak.I left the auction and returned a few minutes later. Someone had taken mychair, oh well fair enough. With folks still standing at the back andsitting on the floor around the place, it'd have been silly and a stupidwaste of available resources to have left it standing empty.

I spied an empty chair. It bore no "marker" (cardigan, book, waterbottle,whatever) indicating it was already occupied. I sat down. Immediately theguy next to me said something like "I'm saving that for my fiance' ".Curiously, given that the room was approx mid 20's Celcius in temperature,hewas wearing a thick World War 2 army style overcoat. To me it would seem tohave been a sensible idea to remove the overcoat and use it as a "marker"on the seat (although, when a room's full to standing-room-only there's thegreater issue of whether it's a fair use of available resources if ANYchairs are left empty and un-used.)Without interupting the ongoing auction, I whispered politely "I'll leaveas soon as she comes"He hissed back, in a voice that positively spat venom "You'd better !" Ihave never before encountered such a tone of bitter jealous hatred. SorryI'm no wordsmith, I can't describe it better than that. I was almost reducedinto a state of shock.

During the, say 2 minutes, that I occupied that chair, the door at the backof the room opened and closed several times as people entered or left theauction-room. Now that door isn't noisy by any means, but it does make aslight clicking noise as it opens and closes.

Every time that door faintly clicked, the guy spun his head around to seewho it was, his head turnedwith a vigour that I'm surprised he didn't give himself a neck injury. Longbefore his beloved "fiance" arrived, another chair had become vacatedelsewhere, so I promptly moved to it. (I'm guessin' she was away in thebathroom cleaning herself up, from the last beating he gave her. I can'timagine this guy's anything other than a sadistic jealous control freak)

I don't recall seeing that guy, or his fiance at any convention before. NowI'm one of the most generous, forgiving and compassionate persons that Iknow, but let me say that I hope that they're first timers and that theydidn't like it, and will never darken the doorway again. We can do withoutsourpusses like that, bringing down the whole tone of the place. I'd reallyenjoyed the auction up until then, and he really ruined the whole afternoonfor me.

Now I must thank all those present who bought things at the auction andhelped support Swancon and the fan-funds. Special mention must go to PeterKelly (a Swancon regular) and his partner (err, "Mrs Kelly"?).Peter bought, well it must've been nearly one quarter of all the lotsauctioned. Maybe he's recently won lotto or been doin' blags on banks ? ormaybe he just saved his pennies for a whole year and this was his specialannual treat. I dunno. He must've spent hundreds of dollars, by the end ofthe auction, a massive pile of stuff was heaped on the floor in front ofhim.

Thanks for supporting Swancon's auction Peter.But hey, he didn't leave hardly nothin' for all the rest of us t' buy, nextyear can a couple of big strong dudes please grab him and tie 'im up, andlock 'im in a storage cupboard somewhere until the auction's over !

Really though, pretty much everything went for realistic prices. I thinkthe most expensive single lot was a full seven season set of DVD box sets ofStar Trek (sorry I'm not sure if it was Next Gen, DS 9 or Voyager). Thereserve had been like $70 but the set ultimately sold for some $250(although this would still have been good value given what the full retailprice is)

After the auction finished it was off downstairs again, and the folding wallgot exercised again.The big main room filled for the "Launch" presentation for next year'sSwancon. They had a Powerpoint type AV presentation as they talked usthrough who the major international guests etc were for next year'sconvention. Unfortunately they hadn't read my earlier paragraph, about howsensible it is to dim the ceiling lamps when doing a visual presentation.The bright light was getting to me, so I left early. I'd've been curious toknow, how the audience present reacted, when told that no venue had yet beenorganised.

The dinner break was next, which gave my eyes more of a chance to recover.After dinnerbreak the large room was transformed yet again. Subduedlighting and potted plants, this event was subtitled "The After Dark GardenParty". It was introduced by Anna Hepworth, who looked most elegant in anoff-the-shoulder long red gown. Several of the others involved, had also hada bit of a spruce-up.

This was of course the presentation ceremony for the TIN DUCK Awards.The Tin Ducks are WA state's own awards for Science Fiction and Fantasy.They cover Artworks, short and long fiction, and other creative works suchas websites. in both amateur and professional categories.I can't be sure but believe the name came about because when the firstaward trophies were made up many years ago, is was commented that theyresembled a "tin duck" more than the thelocal native "Black Swan" they were supposed to.I can't be sure, but I believe that only WA state has it's own state basedawards. The National Awards, administered at annual NatCons, are known asthe "Ditmars". I do not know where that name comes from, as there are nowaterfowl I know of, called "ditmars".

Monday morning, well it had to be lashings of bacon and other stuff at 7 amdownstairs in the hotel restaurant area.Part of the morning I's in the videoroom watching one of the previouslymentioned items, then it was onto the BUFFY panel.Yes it says something that even 4 years after the TV series "Buffy TheVampire Slayer" concluded, you can still fill a large room by anouncing apanel that was "anything" Buffy related. This panel focused on the recentlyreleased Buffy comic. Oh yeah there've been heaps in the past, many prettylow quality, but this edition is set as a "series 8" following on from theshows seventh season..

Following on from that in the same room was "Socialism in Science Fictionand Fantasy". The audience were so enthusiastic as to remain for half anhour after the panel finished and kept discussing amongst themselves.....noworries as this was the lunch period so the room would've been empty anyway.

After lunch I attended "Getting the physics Right, or Wrong, in Spacebattles" The panel was the 2 overseas GOH, Elizabeth and David, assisted byAndrew Williams. The whiteboard got a bit of a hidign and there wasenergetic participation from the audience.After that, I attended a Battlestar Galactica panel by Dave Cake, Stevo andStephen Griffiths. Most discussion centred around the second season of there-envisioned series (recently finished airing on Australian tv). The was afair bit of audience paricipation throughout.

That was the final timeslot for panels. The next item scheduled being theclosing cermony. (Open the folding wall again...)

My trip back to me friends house would involve taking 3 separate buses andwith a walk towing my trolley at each end, and with no CAT buses runningthat day, I's forced to walk even further from the hotel to a regular busstop.

So I legged it outa there a bit early, leaving a few minutes after 4 pm .Iarrived back at my friends house just after 6 o'clock on the edge ofdarkness.

I don't think I missed too much, going by past experience, The closingceremony thanks all the guests and volunteers, and often as a Swanconconvention (small "c") gives out the address for the "Dead Dog" party.

Yep, if you're still not as tired out as a dead dog and want some more evenafter the Convention's over, there's usually a house-party that evening,happening somewhere.

Here endeth my report

Catherine Jemma (Cate)
Outback Western Australia
Wednesday 18 April 2007F

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